The Stealth Bomb

The Stealth Bomb

“Am I sick and wrong or why do I love this so much?”

Those were the words I asked my mom, sitting in the Home Depot parking lot last year. We were both laughing, though trying to keep it quiet.

“Wait, wait, here comes another one,” I snickered, the anticipation building.

The truck was silent (except for our stifled chuckling). Behind us, a pack of bloodhounds waited, looking through the 6-inch opening in the tinted window. Not one of them was whining. No noses were sticking out huffing. Just silently they watched.

This was Boone’s game. The Stealth Bomb. He’d perfected it, and the others had all caught on to the pure joy of it just recently.

I can’t claim that I was an innocent observer in the affairs—aiding and abetting, co-conspirator, accomplice, yes, all of the above. I’d parked right next to the cart return for the best effectiveness of the Stealth Bomb’s deployment. Strategy is above all importance in mission success.

We all waited…so quietly…

Here she comes…

A nice looking, well-dressed dark-haired woman was being a good patron and walking her cart to the return station. She looked peaceful, lost in thought, maybe happy about her purchase and what project she’d start on once home. Little did she know what was about to befall her. How could she know she was walking straight into the firing zone? And oh, how the solace of her thoughts was about to be shattered!

She turned the cart into the slot…

None of the hounds moved. Silence.

I was holding my breath. Don’t burst out laughing!

She turned and maneuvered it, pushing it up into position…

I was watching Boone in the rearview mirror. He was staring at the stranger, frozen with perfect intensity…waiting for that exact moment when the lady’s head was just beneath the opening in the window…

Two more steps she took…and it was as if she hit the trigger…

Boone let it fly….


Now, this sound isn’t the average dog sound…Boone's alarm-beller is like a baritone foghorn from hell. And a nanosecond after it began blasting, a chorus of other hounds blared their own war cry.

 The poor victim screamed…and I mean she SCREAMED LOUD.

“Ahhhhhhhhhwwwwwgggg!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Then all the dogs returned to silence.

Tails wagging. Noses out the window sniffing at her. They were so happy!

I was choking, trying desperately not to let the poor heart-thumping woman hear. My mom (being a kinder soul than I) whispered some oh the poor lady statement as she laughed with her hand over her mouth, turning away from her window to avoid detection.

The woman stood there for a long second looking at the car and laughing, “Oh my gosh, you guys scared me so bad! Oh, my gosh!”

What a good sport! She really did deserve a gold star.

With our day’s missions completed, I put the truck into drive. Happy with the knowing that some folks would go home and tell their families or friends that the loudest dog on earth scared the crap out of them. I suppose a few folks wouldn’t admit it to anyone at all...maybe the ones that tinkled a little. Either way, as I glanced into the rearview mirror pulling out of the lot, I smiled at Boone. He had his nose resting on the widow’s edge with a sublime joy on his face. Around him, the other hounds were sprawled about resting.

Home Depot is fun.


Thanks for reading my blog! If you enjoyed this, please share it! Check out my other hound stories here and watch for new posts that will likely give you a chuckle at my expense! While you’re here, please take a look at my pet portraits page and share with your friends! If you feel like perusing my k9 lovers t-shirts, use discount code THANKYOU15 for an additional 15% off the already killer sale prices! The hounds and I truly think you for helping our small business grow!

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